So I’ve been celibate for about 5 years now. I have to say that by now I have no desire to sleep with anyone. I still find men attractive, but that is it. I still have sex dreams every now and than, but in the waking world, no desire. 

My friend reached out to me via Facebook last week. He started talking sexy to me. He did say hi at first, but our relationship before was strictly sexual, so I expected it. He also did ask I had a boyfriend or was married, the normal respective thing to ask before jumping into any conversation when you have a certain topic in mind.  

Anyway we began reminiscing about the past how good the sex was when he lived in my state. Then he started asking for pictures. Well that’s difficult, I look like a 5 foot Madea right now, but I understand men are visual beings and he was asking for the world so I did what I could. After the pictures he sent me some. I felt nothing. He told me he was going through something so work with him. Sure! He’s a friend.

After a while I grew tired of the conversation and went back to my day. He would reach out every few hours with WYD (What you doing). If I was doing something I would tell him.

Fast forward to my dream. I was working on my computer, I feel like I was working from home. That’s been happening lately in my dreams too.  Lewis popped up on my phone. Which is weird because we were just texting and he decides to call me. I didn’t give him my number, but maybe you can look it up in Facebook, not sure. Also, what’s weird is my friends name isn’t Lewis, but let’s use it.

He wanted to talk more about sex, but I was fine with the chatting. But since he called me I felt it was time to tell him. So I said, “I have to tell you that nothing will ever happen.” I have goals and right now that is my focus and I don’t want you to continue to imagine something that will never be. What did I say that for? He blew the fuck up. He start arguing with me. I can’t even tell you what he said, because he sound like Charlie Browns parents, literally. 

Side note: is that how men hear us women when we get to arguing? 

At this time, I decided to take the call to the bathroom for more privacy. I believe my daughter was in the room with me. That’s why I was fine with the texting and not talking over the phone. One in the bathroom I said that it’s not like I don’t dream about having sex or desire it sometimes (all a lie), but that is something I have given up to focus. Then he said something about I better make it up to him because he coming into town. I said okay.

Then for some my butt felt slimy, so I sat on the toilet and wiped my butt. I wiped and the tissue was full of poop, i wiped again, more poop. What was happening? I don’t remember pooping so why the endless wiping?

Then I woke up.